I have nothing against women struggling alone, without the assistance of husbands to bring up their child/children.

But I have plenty of issues with single mothers who bring lovers home and indulge in bouts of sex, unmindful of their kids’ presence in the house!

What is the essence of railing against a kid for watching porn films or browsing porn websites, when you’re literarily showing them the practical stuff at home?

This is a millennium age; an age where four-year-old kids are wiser and seem to have some knowledge you wouldn’t ever dream was possible.

My three-year-old son went to the flat of one of our neighbours, who recently got married. We call the new wife, ‘Iyawo,’ and the husband ‘Oga.’

Michael returned, smiling like a cat that got the cream, he said: “Mummy, Iyawo was kissing Oga!”

He started giggling.

You could have knocked me out with a feather!

Can you beat that? Just tell me how on earth he knew what kissing was?

The smile on his face that day showed he understood what kissing is all about or maybe not?

Nay…don’t even go there! I’d never kissed anyone, guy or woman, in his presence!

Nay, I’m quite mindful of such exhibitions.

What? But of course, I often kiss Michael. No big deal, he’s, my son. The point here is that a mere three-year-old boy made an issue out of two adults kissing.

Do you get my drift now?

I was more shocked when my colleague, Christopher Oji, told me about the weird conversation he had with his three-year-old son.

They were sitting and one thing led to another, and this conversation ensued:

Chris: Who is your mummy’s husband?

Son: (looking amazed) You’re mummy’s husband

Chris: Who told you I’m mummy’s husband?

Son: You’re Mr. Oji, mummy is Mrs. Oji. You and mummy used to play in your room!

Another shocker wouldn’t you say?

Out of the mouth of babes….

Everyone knows that it’s a tough job being a single mother. I’m one. It was a situation that forced me into it.

I bet that most single mothers did not plan to be single.

Shit happens, and you just must learn to live with it. Sometimes it could be an unwanted pregnancy, but most times it is the result of a broken marriage.

You learn to live with it.

How many women will allow their husbands to go away with their kids and probably hand them over to their new wives?

Not many, I tell you. Not me! Anywhere I go, my kids will have to go with me.

It’s hell to raise a kid or kids alone. You desperately want to be there for them, but you can’t. Life is not a bed of roses, and you can’t have things both ways. Something must give.

Thus, even though you want to be there, you know you must work to give them the best. You worry when you’re at the office; you pray that nothing bad will happen to them because you’d never forgive yourself.

Yeah! Tough life for single mothers.

But many are coping, and a good number of others had coped. You will cope!

There’s nothing stopping you from bringing up the best well-behaved children around your vicinity. It’s up to you!

But you must be careful. The child/children must come first in every decision you take and make, including sexual liaisons!

Just because a woman is a single mom does not mean sexual desires will disappear. It doesn’t mean she will not get lonely sometimes. It doesn’t mean she will not want an emotional connection with a male adult.

An average woman yearns for affection and attention, and the same goes for single dads. It’s a two-way thing.

This is where I’m heading to; how to protect your kids from watching you and your lover grunt in bed like dogs in heat.

Most men, who date single mothers, seemed to prefer balling these women in their homes. This is what I don’t understand. I mean, the kids can walk in at any time. After all, it is their home too.

We have single mothers, who live in a room apartment, yet they bring lovers home, sometimes they even allow lovers to spend the night.

Bad! Bad! Bad!

Try and be mindful of my usage here. I said, lovers. Yeah, they keep changing men like they are changing menstruation pads! Just shameful!

Some single parents lock their kids out just because they want to ball. What if there’s an emergency?

I can’t imagine choosing any guy over my kids!


And if any of the lovers want to stay the night, she waits until she thinks that the kids are sleeping.

This column is an adult page, and I will not mince words.

We know the moans and groans of pleasure, which usually emits from us when we are caught up in the furious clutches of sexual pleasure or an approaching orgasm…

Even if you bite the guy’s shoulder and claw your fingers down his back to silence your screams of pleasure, the bed may still do amebo away.

It’s worst if the bed is old, weak, and begging for freedom. Those ones are usually the worst amebo.

I told you guys about my former landlord when I was an undergraduate at UNILORIN.

Whenever he and his wife start balling, we’d know. Even if we are asleep, we will wake up, keep silent, listen, and wait for them to finish before we can go back to sleep.

They have a terrible bed! We call the bed “Radio Nigeria.”

If we are not yet asleep and they start with their fakafikifaka, we would look at one another and start laughing. We’d say, “Dem don start again…”

How silently do you hope to be so that the kids will not wake up? The thing about sex is that even if the kid/kids wake up, they wouldn’t make a whisper of noise.

They seem to naturally sense that what mummy and ‘that uncle’ are doing in bed is something they ought not to have heard, let alone see.

But I tell you, kids these days will take a peep and continue to pretend to be asleep.

Perhaps I should tell you the story of Iya Prince and Baba Prince, to buttress my argument on the negative aspect of sex at home and bringing home different lovers, tagged “Uncle.”

No! Iya Prince is not a single mother…please hold on and let me land or I may be forced to discontinue the story…are we good? Okay.


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1 thought on “Single parents balling lovers at home (1)

  1. Black don’t crack! Be Black and Proud! Be your authentic self. No one can beat on your authentic self.
    The African Continent is the First Frontier, and will be the Last Frontier. This is where it’s all happening. It may not look so, but indeed, the World revolves around Africa and her treasures, Man and Material. You better believe it

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