Randy men of God
Abeg to bi a minister of God no bi by force Ohhh!
Who dem dey fool sef?
Or do they think they’re fooling God?
What’s the meaning of one leg inside, one leg outside?
Ohhhh….so you don’t know what I’m blabbing about?
Abi you bi one of them?
Yes, one of the ministers of God?
Why is it that these days, they all want to give babes with pointy boobs a spiritual bath?
Once they catch sight of a babe and know that she’s frantically searching, worried that her eggs are begging her to fertilize them…our ministers, supposed men of God, begin to exploit such ladies.
You won’t believe that a minister of God came to Nigeria, all the way from the US, ostensibly to spread the word of God. They call them missionaries. But he ended up in the matrimonial bed of a married babe!
Some babes get mind shai!
One thing is to cheat on your husband; another thing is to allow your lover to bang you on your matrimonial bed! Nawa O!
But that’s what the babe did. Her husband works outside Lagos, and she went on a sex spree…banging the pastor until he was speaking in tongue and quoting chapters and verses of the bible that do not exist!
My G told me why he’s too bitter with those calling themselves men of God.
I knew he was being prejudiced because the lady caught in the web of the pastor’s lies was his friend.
How him even take begin the story sef? …
I can’t remember…but suffice to say that the pastor got engaged to this lady, promising his undying Christian love and marriage after a home must have been found.
He stays in Nigeria, she stays overseas.
The way I heard it, he used to visit the States to propagate the gospel of God – another missionary.
He used to come with a particular pastor friend to propagate this word of God.
Don’t even go there….
I know what you wanted to ask me…you wanted to ask me if the pastor and lady used to bang, right?
Don’t know…can’t say what I don’t know. Most of these pastors bang like dogs in heat, anyway.
It’s shocking that many of them no longer see anything wrong with illegal banging.
You of course know that we have legal and illegal banging. You don’t know?
Don’t believe you! You want to derail me from my discussion…kole werk!
But if you truly don’t know, DM me!
The entire babe’s discussion was always seasoned with, “My fiancé is a pastor…he said this…he said that…”
She was heavily into the pastor. She probably believed that no lies had ever passed through his holy mouth.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
I can bet my one-year pay pack that his holy mouth had gone down on many kinds of honey, while our babe stays overseas, playing the bride in waiting!
Under several missionary guises, the pastor collected whooping sums of money from our gullible sister. At a point, the pastor said he had found an apartment; she started shipping all sorts of home furniture to Nigeria.
Poor babe! Was she lovesick or just another mugu?
It went on until she was almost drained, but she didn’t complain. She was in love with a minister of God.
Story O! We don hear am tire O!
How kasala come take burst?
The pastor’s best friend…the one I told you guys used to visit the babe with him, went to spill the bean.
He told her that the pastor was already married. In fact, he was living with his legal wife right then.
I want you people to get this clear…he was not a fake pastor…just a lying, cheating, SOB minister of God!
She couldn’t believe the story. She decided to check things out for herself. Bought a ticket and made a beeline for Nigeria. She was already armed with the guy’s address, thanks to our gossiping second pastor.
She got to the address; knocked…the door was opened by the pastor’s wife…the rest, as they say, is a story!
Yes, I hear you sister over there…I can feel you brother…preach it! Heaven far O! I agree!
What made our gossiping second pastor start singing like a bird after all these years?
You’re dead wrong if you think his pastor(ly) conscience pricked him.
Nay. He had been green with envy since the friend was chopping the mugu sister, left, centre, and forward.
He had chopped her materially, spiritually, and financially.
He probably wanted a piece of the action.
You won’t believe what the idiot second pastor said to the sister after the dust settled?
Guess…just guess naaa…
He said he’d liked to marry her since it didn’t work out with his friend!
Can you just beat that?
What about the sister that was sick with worry because she wanted to have a baby and the baby just refused to come?
She had a caring husband, who was equally determined to get to the root of their childlessness.
They naturally started going to meet their pastor for prayers.
I heard that the woman was just too pretty, that even a eunuch’s dead-looking one-eyed snake will shake itself awake if…you know what I mean.
All the time the yeye pastor was praying for them, he was seeking ways to penetrate her fortress and dig into her wet Holy of holies.
This pastor was highly respected in society. In fact, to her husband, after God, the pastor was the next.
You can’t possibly imagine how stunned the woman was when this saintly minister of God, told her that the only way she and her husband could ever have a child was if he balled her silly!
He painted his holy fluid as one that could instantaneously make any woman pregnant, no matter how stubborn her ovaries or eggs are.
If the fluid is so powerful…so miraculous in forming a baby, he ought to be selling it at Pharmacies, don’t you think?
She turned down his amorous proposal. The pastor started pestering her, grabbing every opportunity to renew his proposals.
It was pure sexual harassment. It was so bad that she began to dread going to church services.
The woman wanted to tell the whole world but knew that nobody would believe her tale.
She even tried to tell her husband, but he didn’t believe her. He didn’t want to believe that his pastor had clay feet.
Perhaps the pressure was too much…perhaps the woman finally realised that what the pastor felt was true and real love…perhaps she had fallen for him or liked his persistence…. I don’t know…the fact was that she changed her mind…yeah, gave the proposal a second thought.
One day, she invited him over to her matrimonial home…to seal the agreement, she said.
She had accepted his proposal. She cooked and fed him spices that can make a guy’s candy bar stand attention, panting and ready for action.
The thought of the coming marathon made the guy’s soldier start gyrating and behaving inside his trouser. The agitation was too much…it was like a riot inside his boxer.
He even wanted to grab the woman at the diner, but she told him to calm down. They had the whole day, she promised, batting her eyelashes lustfully at him.
After food, she took him to her matrimonial bed and bade him remove his clothes.
His JT has become embarrassing turgid, standing erect, with all the sinews standing on ends and begging for a babe to climb it. At that moment, if you dare to grab and throw it at the guy over there…yes, that guy over there…it will perforate his forehead!
It was as hard as Olumo Rock!
He needed it badly…he needed her badly.
Our man of God didn’t notice that he was the only one doing the undressing.
He was soon naked as the day he was born.
He flexed his muscles. The lady asked him to relax on the bed, while she went to prepare herself-body-for his sexual ministration.
He smiled lustfully and even slapped her buttocks.
Dirty old fool! He was already seeing himself, grinding brutally into her wet holies!
Oh, come on…let the idiot dream.
As the pastor was flexing and rotating his hips and buttocks in preparation for the imperial act, the woman took his boxer, trouser, singlet, and shirt.
She walked out of the bedroom.
Guess what she did with them….
Ha! Ha! Ha!
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