I have often told my kid sister, Glory, that to be a damn good Christian is not easy!

This is why you hear phrases like, ‘Heaven far.’ But hey, we can’t do anything but try to be good Christians.

It’s irksome that most people believe that to be a good Christian wife, a woman has to go to ridiculous lengths to please her husband.

For crying out loud, what about the husband pleasing the wife?

Recently we had a programme in church titled, ‘Singleness of Purpose.’ A lady was invited from another parish to speak on this topic.

At the end of her sermon, she brought out men and women in different groups and started asking questions.  One of the questions thrown open to the men was what could be done to foster unity on the home front.

The majority of them had gone, “the wife had to be submissive, the wife had to be submissive and bla! bla! bla!”

The wife has to be submissive or has to be one of the furniture in the home?  They probably meant she has to be a mannequin or puppet or better still a robot, who says, ‘Yes sir and no sir,’ to the order of the husband.

She is supposed to be seen, but not heard.

You may not believe it, but this caveman tactic in marriage and treatment of women like nothing better than the scum of the earth can be found even among Christians and educated women.

I almost punched my pastor one day when he was on the pulpit, speaking about how a woman could be an excellent person in the home.

According to him, an excellent woman should and must be able to prepare food for her husband and family no matter the ungodly hour she returns from the office.

She would be found wanting if her husband gets home and she was still trapped in traffic and his food was ready.

An excellent woman should be able to stagger into the kitchen after she returns from the office, and starts cooking soup and stew.

She should be able to be frying plantain with one hand while washing the children’s uniforms with the other. And all these domestic chores must and should not stop her from performing her duty in the bedroom said, my good pastor.

What the heck is the husband supposed to be doing why this wonder woman is doing all the chores, including getting his food ready?

Sit in front of the television, watching Manchester versus Chelsea match?

I couldn’t bear it anymore; I jumped up from my seat like someone stung by a mad bee. I told the pastor point blank that he was talking about a machine with a female shape, not a human being. A good number of women supported me.

On that programme ‘Singleness of Purpose,’ when the men kept going on that a good wife has to be submissive to her husband, it crossed my mind that many of them were probably talking about sex.

You and I know that a sexually deprived man is an angry one.

When a wife denies her husband sex, and the man is a Christian, he will not behave like otherworldly husbands who seek solace in the embrace and between the thighs of another woman.

If the husband is a staunch Christian, he prays about the worrisome situation, if he’s not, he slowly begins to seek another female honey well. Yeah, repeatedly denying your husband sex, can force him into extra-marital affairs.

Many good men believe that a good Christian wife should be sexually submissive to her husband whether she’s in the mood or not.

I don’t think agree!

Ha! What a terrible albatross, when sex becomes an ordeal, instead of a pleasure!

If she’s not in the mood, and you’re in the mood, what pleasure will you as a guy derive if you impale her between the bed sheet and she’s only muttering that you should get it over with?

No pleasure I tell you.

I insist and maintain that there’s nothing sexually more wonderful than for a couple to be in the mood for sex. The sensation is wonderful.

Try it today.

It is only a stupid man who inserts an eager one-eyed snake into the indifferent honey pot of a nonchalant wife.

I heard that some women would be on the verge of falling asleep, yet the husband will keep pumping like a bloody idiot.

Most times, you and I know that a babe, who is not in the mood, will lie on the bed like a log of wood.  When you as a guy thrust, she will not respond. She just wants you to pour forth your holy water and roll away from her body.

She’s not feeling you!

Tell me truthfully; do you truly enjoy such kind of bedmantic?

Tell me again, what could be more sexually sizzling and hot than for your wife or babe to grab your candy bar and slide it into her warm mouth and start suckling and lapping like she was dying of thirst?

What could be hotter, than for her to suckle those manly nipples to hard pebble?

To make you mourn as passion builds and your candy bar becomes turgid and strained with veins standing out in sharp relief?

Oh, what about the pleasure of using your candy bar to seek out your wife or babe’s ocean-filled impatient waiting crevices?

As your candy bar touches in between her thighs, she shifts impatiently to allow it access into her. Even her impatience intoxicates you, making you heady with passion.  When you impale her, she welcomes you by throwing her legs to an angle 90. Access!

She meets you thrust for thrust and clutches your hard buttocks as if she fears you may remove the candy bar. Yeah, most women love candy bars.

So sweet!

That is the best way of going about sex. She wants it…you want it…you both want it and are both determined to have pleasure.

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