When a married man starts browsing and downloading into the website of a married woman, that is what has been termed as a perfect clandestine affair!
No strings attached!
Have you ever heard such nonsense before?
A clandestine affair that’s perfect?
The first time I heard it, I thought the speaker needed to see a shrink, but by the time he enumerated his points, I was almost converted to his religion of thought.
Not converted in the sense that I think it’s a cool idea, but converted in the sense that many people are probably indulging in such affairs.
You must have heard of the song ‘Secret Lovers’ by Atlantic Stars. That song is what we are talking about here. The song went further to say that we have secret lovers, all over the world.
I first heard the term from a policeman, the former Lagos State Police Command spokesman, Frank Mba. The guy is one hell of a smart aleck! Has more brains than is good for him.
The perfect clandestine affair was not my idea.
Nay! I’m only writing it because I want to know people’s take on such an affair.
Let me first tell you Mba’s explanation of what is the perfect clandestine affair:
The babe and guy are married to other spouses, but suddenly found they are sexually attracted to each other. They decide to indulge and satisfy that attraction.
The policeman calls it perfect because the babe and guy know that they are going into the relationship for sex and fun!
Each is not obliged to the other.
In such an affair, she will not go and get stupidly pregnant, expecting the guy to marry her.
There’s no fear that she might someday get angry with the guy over something insignificant and starts sending threatening text messages to his wife.
Nay, they’re both married!
They wouldn’t need that sort of complication. Would they?
In a nutshell, no expectations, and no disappointments. The rule is when you get horny, you call him or if it’s the other way around, he calls you.
The meeting is usually at a hotel of course, except either has a spouse living overseas or outside town. But even with that, they might still pick a hotel.
I mean, the hotel seems to be the safest and sanest place to do any illegal jigijigi.
I recollected an incident, which I witnessed when I was still an undergraduate at the University of Ilorin.
Whenever it was exam period, students used to search for schools close to their homes to read, especially if the student lives off-campus like me.
It was the exam period. I went with a friend, Musadaddy, to a primary school to read. It was already sundown. We were still scouting for a classroom to use when we heard the unmistakable moans and groaning of a woman caught under the helpless power of passion, if not approaching orgasm.
Thinking about it now, I don’t believe she even knew she was moaning so loud. I wanted to check it out, but my partner refused.
I was going crazy trying to imagine if the guy was strumming her clit or was ruthlessly pumping her in a classroom filled with frowning and disapproving-looking chairs, desks, and blackboards.
When they finally did step out, after all, was done, I was shocked to see that they were both mature folks. I had initially thought they could be students, giving in to uncontrollable hormones raging out in all directions.
As a student, I know how crazy and unflinchingly unmerciful sexual hormones can be. I’ve been there! They can drive you nuts!
But there they go, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths, aging man and woman. I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me that they were both married to different partners.
I could be wrong.? Probably.
So tell me: what do you think of such an affair? Do you agree with our brother that it’s really the perfect affair?
There was a time I used to think a man and woman bang each other not just because they love and are attracted to each other, but because they hope that someday the affair may lead to the ringing of wedding bells.
Now, I don’t know anymore! It’s either I’m crazy or the world has gone stark raving mad! Or could it be that I’m not moving with this jet age era…just saying that makes me feel as old as Methuselah!
To tell you the truth, I pity married women who go into such a relationship. Ever wondered what can happen if you’re found out? It won’t become a perfect affair anymore.
You’ll be kicked out of your matrimonial home, while your partner-in-sex, will remain married to his wife.
I can bet my next salary on that!
Sister, this is Nigeria! It’s a man’s world. So, when that sexual hunger grabs you and the honey between your thighs starts throbbing, asking to be assuaged by the entrance of a stiffened candy bar, remember that you have more to lose.
Ha! My sister, I can hear you loud and clear from here…you make me sound like a saint.
Well, I’m not! To answer your question, my sister pay attention, you were the person who said I didn’t know what I was talking about because I had never been sexually attracted to another man since I got married.
Now I want to answer and you’re beginning to drift away. Sorry if I was hard on you, but hey, you asked a question.
Have I ever been attracted to a married man as a married woman and felt like ripping off his clothes and trousers and getting them on with him?
Hell, yes! What do you think I am? A robot? I have blood, not water flowing in my veins too.
Have I ever given in to that sexual need?
Not yet! I used the phrase ‘not yet’ because tomorrow is pregnant, and nobody knows what it will give birth to. Nobody can beat his/her chest in confidence and says: “I know I can never or will never be found doing this or that….”
Those are hypocrites. People prefer to live in a cloud than to face the harsh realities of life.
Most proclaimed men and women of God have been made to stoop by sex!
Do you think it was their wish to stray? I’ve always told people that it’s normal and natural to be tempted but giving in to that temptation can become a major problem in life. Think about it!
I encounter temptations, but I try to be like Brother Jero, in Wole Soyinka’s ‘Jero’s Metamorphoses.’ I fall on my knees and pray that God should take away this temptation from me.
Why the heck do decent married men and women go for such an affair anyway?
Do you have any idea? You want to think about it…okay, let me know when you’re done thinking.
To be continued next week.
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