“Hi sister, please I want to know how to make love. Whenever I want to make love with my girlfriend, she always complains of pain. Before you ask, she’s no virgin though. Oh, I have moderate size manhood.”


Yeah, another one of those emails! Ha!

What is it with guys and the sizes of their manhood? What is it with them and the way and manner they bang? If they do it right, they can’t wait to tell their beer-drinking buddies that they are dynamiting in bed.


If the babe complains of not being satisfied or of painful intercourse, two things may happen; she’s a slut, machine or other horrible adjectives are used to qualify her.


Naturally, such narrow-minded adjectives will come from a guy suffering from an insecurity and inadequacy complex. You dey feel so? Yes, I know my dear, Grammar boku!

Did I just hear a female voice, shouting, ‘Yeah, preach it, sister?’ I did? Ha!


Thank God that somebody agrees with me. She probably has had such a nasty lover before.

The broad-minded lover, however, might get depressed a bit but begins to ponder and wonder how to get better.


Every guy wants to be a tiger, not a monkey in bed. Take that to the bank!

This mail is obviously from a broad-minded guy. Yeah, I believe it.


Listen, bros, this pen will tell you from the word go, that there are no hard or fast rules when it comes to making love.


I know what you’re saying, I can feel you. But the truth is that being able to satisfy a woman naturally has to do with the guy’s characteristics as a human being. If he’s a selfish bastard, it’ll reflect in his sexual performances in bed. He’ll be the type that wants to jump between a babe’s legs…wouldn’t care that the vagina is indifferent.


He slots his rod into her machine, and tunes recklessly to different channels and stations, never mindful if he was getting the frequency that the babe under him will enjoy.  Within minutes, he’s pouring like a burst dam, shouting, alleluia, no less!  Stupid man!


I’ve always argued with people that we are born with natural sexual urges and innate sexual moves. Take a babe and a guy who are virgins and put them in a room and tell them to make love.  As biology students, they know that the pen will go into the round hole. Every fool knows that.

But no biology teacher will expedient energy teaching some morons how to move, kick and thrash in bed to reach orgasm.


Put them in a room, and the guy sees the babes rudely jutting boobs, it sends messages to his brain, and blood begins to flow toward the region of his manhood. It gets turgid. The veins begin to stand on ends, straining, every sinew showing.


Like a natural-born swimmer, he’ll slide his candy bar into her wet core, and before you know it, they’ll both be thrashing, panting, and holding unto each other like there’s no tomorrow. That is innate. Something no biology teacher can get across. Something inborn. More like God’s gift to every human being.


The only thing here is that the guy might not have the time nor has no much knowledge for foreplay. Personally, I feel foreplay goes with feelings towards the sexual partner.


A guy/woman who loves each other will want to smooch, caress, lick, suckle, and lap at each other’s exposed bodies and genitals.

I had a nasty experience with sex. It took me like forever to ever know and realised that orgasm was not a myth perpetrated and circulated by romance novels.

Once I knew, I kicked against any sort of bedmantic which will not lead to me reaching orgasm. Sex without an orgasm leaves me grouchy, cantankerous, and out of sorts. It’s like eating amala without ila or ewendu soup. I can’t stand it!


My bros, the thing about making love and giving your babe pleasure, is to know her G spots. Yeah, G spots! Lord knows that I have spoken several times on this topic of lovemaking, that I’m even now beginning to sound like a broken record.


I know you won’t agree with me. You’re sick, that’s why! You just love reading about this…

Oh, well, your lover’s G spots are the areas to which he/she is sensitive to. Areas that make him/her want to scream in pleasure. Areas that sexually excite and move him/her when you touch or kiss those areas.


For some ladies, their G spots are boobs, clits, and neck. God, I just go all wet and munchy, munchy, once I feel his tongue suckling my neck! Hard to believe, but true.


To continue next week

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