This is nicked from a WhatsApp group.
My name is Honorable Ayékóòtò.
I am representing my constituency in the State House of assembly.
Before I assumed office, I vowed to live within my lawful income and fight for the masses with the last drop of my blood.
First week in office, my father sent me an invitation that his mosque would be doing mould and I must be present to honour him.
I went as requested and donated 10,000 naira. My father refused to talk to me for three months, claiming I disgraced him for donating just 10,000 naira.
After a month, my mother invited me to her church programme. I attended and gifted the church 15,000 naira. My mother cried for a week claiming I ridiculed her in the church.
Two months later, my niece requested money for her wedding, I gave her 30,000 naira. My sister tagged me as a stingy man for not financing her daughter’s wedding solely.
The boys in the neighbourhood were hailing me as I passed by. I humbly greet them in return, but I heard from my dejected son the next day that people in the neighbourhood said I was useless for not giving them money.
I was given slots for state jobs in the house. I rejected it because I thought employing citizens should be based on merit and must be open to all.
The graduates in the neighbourhood who have submitted CVs to me stopped greeting me when they saw their mates being given slots by other honourable.
In school, my children have become objects of ridicule because as children of whole honourable, they couldn’t afford to take their friends to club every weekend.
I was offered a bribe in the house, but I rejected it. I fought tooth and nail against the corrupt politicians because, to me, the masses we are representing should come first.
Eventually, I was maliciously suspended for being rude in the house. I laughed because I was sure the masses, I was fighting for, the most powerful arm of government would protest on my behalf.
I was wrong! They all mocked me. They called me a useless representative who can’t spray money. They praised to my face fellow honourable giving them peanuts out of the future they have stolen. They even requested money to protest on my behalf. I mean the same masses I was fighting for.
Father detested me. Mother was no longer talking to me. Friends and family called me names. Wife and children are only trying to be strong. They are fed up. I have lost totally!
I begged my way back to the house. I become a conformist. I became a worse politician than those I met in the game. I started embezzling money my fourth generation to come can’t finish.
I can now spray money for youths in the neighbourhood. I can now give my mother 200,000 naira to spend on a party. My children can now lavish money as they wish. I can now share ram during the Ileya festival. I can now share a bag of rice during Christmas. At last, I regain my ‘dignity’
When people need money that will cater for their immediate needs, they come to me, I give them and they pray for me in return. When they have no money to cater for their larger need, they curse the politicians. Forgetting the same man they pray for is included among the corrupt politicians they are cursing. What a confused generation.
I am a corrupt politician. Don’t blame me for becoming one. I am just another politician with good intentions that become a monster due to the mass’s unreasonable impression of politicians.
Don’t pity them. They don’t deserve better leaders. They don’t deserve a better nation. They do know not what exactly should be expected of leaders.
Are Senators and honorables meant to spray money on the street? Are politicians meant to share slots of jobs meant for the general public among their allies?
Their leaders are just a reflection of how clueless and selfish they are.
I AM A NIGERIAN POLITICIAN.
COPIED
