An excerpt from A WHOLE CHICK FROM A BROKEN SHELL By Joan Ifeoluwa Yakubu:
I was once addicted to masturbation in my early teens down till my early mid-twenties after I was sexually assaulted as a child.
At first, I never knew what I was indulging myself in; all I knew was that I touched myself, and believed the feeling I got was good, but I could not control myself. I could not go days without doing it.
I graduated from watching pornography when I had a phone to myself. Nobody taught me how to go about it, but my thirst and curiosity did.
It was as bad as me purposely going late to school because I felt an urge, and I just had to do it to ease myself. I couldn’t stop until a certain point. I had to waste airtime buying data to watch porn.
There were times when I was caught in the act by my family. I was advised to stop, fast, and pray. It gave me a kind of image because they felt that since I could not control my sexual urge, then I must have been sleeping around with different kinds of people.
It was a big struggle for me because we were Christians and went to church. I felt dirty and unclean, and all I had to do was keep praying for mercy and forgiveness. I told close friends about my situation because I was seeking help.
Then, the older I got, the lesser the addiction. I had to find a solution, getting to firmly understand my body. I bought the book Every Woman at eighteen, which helped my sexual literacy. I got to understand that sexual urge is not a sin; it was created by God for the sole purpose of procreation and pleasure, so I just have to calm myself for the right moment to fully express myself with someone.
I became more self-aware about what triggers the urge, when, and how. I had to engage myself in activities that would keep my hands busy by knitting. To avoid being alone, I went to visit friends, started creating an interest in reading books, and avoided highly sex-rated movies and songs.
Over time, all these helped to the point I had control over my mind and desire.
*HOW TO DEAL WITH ADDICTIONS
Do you wish to know more? Then get a copy, you will not regret it. It is a book worth reading and gifting to young Nigerians to tell about additions, lifetime decisions and relationships.
The book is also now available on Selar at a discounted price if you’d like to check it out:
