A 20-year- old lady, who doesn’t want her name disclosed, has shared the harrowing story of how she was sexually abused for 12 years by relatives.
Speaking exclusively with our reporter, she said that it started when she was very young.
She said: “An uncle came to the house to visit, and I was all alone. He took advantage of me, and then warned me never to tell anyone or he would hurt my little brother. I kept it to myself. It went on for several months and I was too scared to tell anyone. One day, I was told that I would be going far away to live. I was so happy and I felt so happy because the abuse would have to stop. I felt free. I felt I would start a new life all over at the new place I was going. I didn’t know that the new place was the beginning of my worst nightmare.”
According to her, when she got to the new place, she was happy for a while, especially when she was enrolled in school. She was pampered and she felt special.
She said: “But affection was missing in my life. It wasn’t my biological family home, but the person was a close relative. I wasn’t liked by their mother or so I thought. Communication was difficult for me. I couldn’t communicate with anyone in the house, but I was free outside the house. After a year, things changed. The two boys started coming to my room at night or whenever we were left alone. It started with the oldest boy, he didn’t have sex with me at first, but he violated and abused my body. I felt used and useless all at once. He never had sex with me, but the things he did and made me to do, were so nauseating. He would play with my breasts and make me suck his manhood. He would tell me things like I was a big girl and stuffs. And then, before you know it, his younger brother joined. He was not that old, but he was older than I. He was like six or seven years older than me. It was even the younger one that used to make the threats. He would threaten to tell his parents to send me back to where I came from. I was called a pig. I was so scared that I didn’t know what to do. There was no one to talk to, and the fact that I lacked communication skill and couldn’t speak with mom and sister made my situation worst. I was all alone.”
She recalled that she continued to stay alone and kept far away from everyone. She didn’t like staying indoors because she no longer felt safe. “I was more terrified of staying indoors and preferred staying outside as long as possible, even preferred staying in school than returning home. I felt safer outside the house,” she said.
According to her, she developed imaginary friends and then soon started telling herself that she was useless and not good enough for anything.
She said: “It was like that for years until I told myself that I was the one who could change my situation; through my mindset by saying enough was enough. I was tired of being scared and alone. I was no longer a child, and it was time for me to stand up and fight for myself, and no one was going to do it for me. I had no one to fight for me. It was a choice and decision, which I decided that it was time for me to make. I was no longer a child because I was 16 years old and was beginning to understand things and issues. And that was how my life changed. Soon, I was the one making threats. It took time, but the violations stopped. The psychological effects it had on me, is that I had phobia for men. But now, I have got over it, thanks to the help of Google and books. Parents need to be aware of what is happening to their children. They also need to build that relationship and good communication with their children. Everyone needs to feel safe and loved. I was able to liberate myself from the shame of childhood abuse with the power of self-esteem and self-compassion. I can proudly say I’m a survivor and not a victim!”
