Juliana Francis
She was among hundreds of people that gathered at ‘Civilian Barrack,’ in the Abule-Odu community, Alimosho Local Government Area of Lagos State, to listen as child rights advocates talk about Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (SGBV).
She sat in the third row, under a canopy with other men, women, and children pooled from that same Civilian Barrack.
She looked bored until one of the speakers started talking about minors being raped and how it was important for everyone to play vital roles in speaking up and putting them in prison.
She perked up and chanted softly, “Yes jail! Arrest all of them! Arrest all of them.”
Feeling the eyes of the journalist on her, she turned, smiled softly, and said: “Something happened, and I have never been the same since then.”
The woman, who did not mention her name, narrated: “He was 18 years old, a sort of a houseboy in that family. The child was three years old, and the mom went out, leaving the child to him to mind. I was washing clothes on that day when I heard the child crying. It was a disturbing kind of cry. I repeatedly called this boy’s name, to find out why the child was crying in such a manner, but he did not answer. Worried, I went to their window and peeped. I saw him right inside the child. He was raping her. She was just a child. I didn’t know when I screamed. I couldn’t continue with my washing. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything. Something happened to me on that day and since then I had never been the same. I couldn’t forget the scene.”
She did not report to the police, only to the child’s mom and by then the ‘houseboy’ had bolted.
These happenings in the Abule-Odu Community were what caused the Executive Director of Document Our History Podcast, Ms. Lolade Ajayi to organise the sensitisation programme that took place at the Abule-Odu Community on the 27th of August 2022.
The programme was organised by Document Our History Podcast, in partnership with Advocates for Children and Vulnerable Persons Network (ACVPN).
The sensitisation programme, tagged, “Speak Up Against Sexual and Gender-Based Violence,” witnessed an impressive turnout from members of the community. Aside from being sensitised on issues surrounding SGBV, there was also health outreach, with community members receiving different medical tests and drugs.
They were first educated on the importance of knowing their HIV and Blood Pressure statuses. While the residents were told that being HIV does not mean the end of one’s life, they were further told that High Blood Pressure was a silent killer. They were urged to ensure regular checkup.
Speaking on SGBV, Ajayi, who also serves as Rescue and Placement Officer of ACVPN, said: “Violence can be emotional, sexual, or physical. We urge parents not to leave their children with anyone, rather mom and dad can do a rotation on who will stay with the children. Don’t say that your child is a baby and that nothing will happen to her. Anyone can be sexually violated, including three-month-old babies.”
She also seized the opportunity to warn potential perpetrators that sexual violation of minors and rape itself, now attract life imprisonment, adding: “In Lagos State now, the government is doing what we call naming and shaming of perpetrators.”
She further stated: “Don’t keep quiet whenever you notice that something wrong is happening. If we all work at individual level, we can be able to curb violence in our community. The right thing is to report these incidents so that the perpetrators will face justice. As a parent, we have the responsibility to protect our children. It is not right to use children for transactional sex because it is a crime.”
The Founder, Children and Women Against Child Sexual Abuse Initiative, Florence Ubajekewe, who was also at the event, said: “This violence we are talking about is done to someone without the person’s consent. We are here so that people can really tell us what is going on. You need to speak up so that we know how to go about tackling the issues.”
The Child and Legal Protection Officer of People’s Awareness on Health Foundation in Nigeria (PAHFIN), Blessing Aderemi, also has something to say to the women folks.
She said: “Don’t stay put in a domestic violence situation. No matter what people tell you. Your aged mother will tell you to stay put and bear the beating from your husband, saying that they didn’t leave their husbands, so their daughters must not leave their husbands. Some mothers will tell their daughters to stay because of the children; the truth is that if a woman dies because of domestic violence, her husband will remarry, and the children also will go on with their lives.”
Health Educator of Alimosho Local Government, Mrs. Grace Honfor, who talked about improper touching and rape, said: “Rape starts with improper touching. Remember that as a child or woman, your body belongs to you. Do not allow touching of boobs, penis, and vagina. When a child reports, parents should not keep quiet. They must speak out so that the perpetrator who started with improper touching will be careful around your child. Sexual violence can happen to anyone, but the most important thing is not to keep quiet.”
The Secretary of Education Committee, NASFAT, Alhaja Adebisi Sadiq, said: “Children are being exploited. Teachers need to have a good relationship with their students. We should teach our children how to speak out. Also, parents violate their children without knowing it. They have a lot of lapses in the way they relate with their children. We should teach our children not to accept gifts because most people give gifts because they want something from the child. Perpetrators are in our communities, and they are also our neighbours. We should never entrust our children into the care of anyone.”
The Programmes Officer, Gender Desk, Lagos State Police Command, Mr. Kunle Orebe, said: “Parents have a lot of jobs to do concerning their children. Parents should be friendly with their children so that they can learn to confide in them. In my office, I receive all sorts of cases every day. Some parents do not plan for their children, but plan for parties, clothes, and shoes. When it’s time to go to parties, they hurriedly look for people that will mind their children; these people end up violating these children.”
Orebe said that he has more than 10 cases of girls who had had babies for their biological fathers. He was also disturbed that some mothers, who knew that their husbands are pedophiles, violating their daughters, continue to protect them from arrest and prosecution.
“Mothers are supposed to protect their daughters from their fathers, not the other way round. You’ll hear fathers claiming they sexually violated their daughters under the influence of alcohol, and some blame the devil. Also, these days, the boy-child is also being violated,” said Orebe.
Speaking directly to operatives and government officials handling issues relating to child abuse, Orebe said: “You can’t buy my conscience! You don’t have to compromise these kinds of cases. Today, it’s someone’s child that it happened to, whose child will it be tomorrow? Mothers should keep their children close and educate them by teaching them improper touching and to quickly alert them if anyone touches them.”
The co-founder of the ACVPN, Ebenezer Omejalile said: “We decided to bring this sensitisation programme to Abule-Odu because our data shows that Alimosho has the highest occurrences of SGBV. It is not only girls who are being violated these days. Sodomy is on the rise and so many ‘uncles’ are taking advantage of children by going to their homes to watch television to violate them. Parents should begin from now to teach children to be financially independent because this is part of checking SGBV.”
