By Glory Anurika Onyemelam
(08038465069/07053846499/[email protected]/[email protected])
It’s another beautiful weekend in early August, and today we’re diving into a critical topic—bullying and body shaming.
So, here’s the question: why do people bully others? Why do they body shame? I just don’t get it. No one asked to be treated poorly. Sometimes, this is simply how God created someone, and you just must accept that. There’s nothing wrong with them, and there’s nothing they need to change.
Sure, some people have the money to alter their appearance. Take Skit maker, Isaac Aloma Junior a.k.a Zicsaloma, who went for a nose enhancement because he didn’t like the way his nose looked.
People bullied him over it. But it was his choice. He had the money, he made the change, and he felt better about himself. Not everyone can afford that.
Truthfully, he probably went through with the surgery because people had already made him feel insecure, body shaming him until he cared enough to act. That’s the power of constant ridicule.
Let me tell you another story.
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There’s this older man, maybe 52, who spent months chasing a woman around 47 or 48 years old, promising her everything. She eventually agreed to give it a shot.
They spent a weekend together, and then he started telling his friends that she was “only facially okay,” making crude and degrading comments about her body, including private parts. Yes, the same man had been begging for a chance with her.
He badmouthed her appearance most disrespectfully. When she found out, she left him immediately. I told the person who relayed the story—please check on her.
Emotional pain shows up differently in everyone. Some cry. Some break. Some pretend they’re fine. But inside, it might feel like you just want the earth to swallow you whole.
That man? He’s shameless. At over 50 years old, you’d think he’d know better.
There’s someone else I know, also in his 50s, who feels self-conscious because of a private physical feature. You can sense his discomfort.
Let me be clear: nobody should ever bring that up or mock such a person. You never know how people will react, or what that kind of shame might do to them.
That’s the thing about body shaming, it’s cruel and uncalled for. These same people who bully others couldn’t even create a cockroach, yet they mock the bodies that were divinely crafted by Baba God!
Now there’s this couple I know.
The husband constantly body shames his wife. He usually hurls words like, “If I knew you’d turn out like this…”
This woman carried his children, went through surgery, trauma, and lost her shape in the process. For eight years, he had not had sex with her. He even calls her names like “ape” and “masculine.”
But here’s the truth: when I met her, she was stunning. Just a fuller body. Big breasts. Big backside. A tummy from the caesarean section.
That man? He’s cheating with someone who is almost exactly like his wife. The girlfriend isn’t even prettier, just slimmer.
I heard the wife cries every night. I told her sister, please, let her focus on her joy. Her happiness matters far more than that nonsense he’s spouting.
The worst part?
He went to a spiritual person and complained that he couldn’t even share a plate with his wife, and hadn’t been intimate with her in nine years. That spiritual person laughed behind his back. I mean, really? These complaints are ridiculous.
He even mocks her underwear, saying they’re so big they could fit five people. When their son came to announce his engagement, the man said, “I hope you’re not bringing someone who looks like your mother.”
The son had had enough. He told him, “Stop. I never want the kind of marriage you have with Mom. I pray she never meets someone like you in the next life.”
I’ve been body shamed too.
People used to say I was getting big and needed to change things about myself. Eventually, I stood up for myself: Don’t body shame me. I’m beautiful. I’m bold. I’m smart.
A dear friend started calling me “Softness” and “Bold Beautiful with the Baddest Softness.” It made me smile. Because we don’t have to absorb people’s negativity just because we’re on the plus side.
No one has the right to shame your body.
Bullying someone for their appearance isn’t just wrong, it’s heartbreaking. It often comes from the people closest to you. Especially for plus-sized individuals, the bullying is relentless.
That man I mentioned? He’s not just body-shaming his wife; he’s bullying her.
Someone like me, I’m big because it runs in my family. But beyond that, I know this: I’m a beautiful woman. You can’t body shame me for my size. You simply can’t.
Whenever anyone tries to say something hurtful to me, I say, “Look at me very well. Don’t try that. Don’t body shame me. Don’t bully me. You can’t do that.”
Why bully someone? Often, people who are plus-sized are not allowed to express themselves freely. They’re made to feel hurt. Take the case of the woman who went for a surgical procedure. She had two grown children, yet chose surgery because people kept bullying her.
She used to upload dancing videos on TikTok, which was her livelihood. That’s why I say we are not all the same. Nobody can bully me into surgery. That surgery cost her life. People need to learn empathy.
Words can kill.
Another thing: people should understand that the life we see on social media is not real life. Many are fighting silent health battles, yet they’re online, acting happy and posting content. At the same time, they’re being bullied.
Recently, my mom asked me if I’d heard from a particular boss. I said yes and that I believed he was okay, he was always posting on Facebook. But she still wasn’t satisfied and asked me to check on him.
When I did, I said, “Mama asked me to check on you.” I shared with him what I’d told her.
His response was incredibly deep and hit home. He said, “Posting on Facebook—does that mean I’m healthy?”
I was silent for a while. That night, I messaged him: “I’m sorry.”
That word cut deep. I was going through a lot myself, not relationship issues, but health-related struggles. Yet I kept posting pictures of shoes and products, as if everything was fine. What people didn’t know is that I had been in an accident. I hadn’t stepped outside in over two weeks. I was battling pain.
Meanwhile, someone messaged me: “You just cashed out your money.” I remembered what my friend said, that just because someone is posting doesn’t mean all is well.
People battle various sicknesses. Yet when they come online, sometimes just to ease their mind, they’re met with judgment. That’s why it’s said that, to fight depression, just have data.
Depression is very real. So is bullying and body shaming. They’re closely related.
So please: love yourself enough. Don’t let social media or others’ comments define you. Wear what you like. Rock it with confidence. Love yourself enough that nothing gets to you.
You are better off than most people, better than the majority of those who try to bully you.
We’ve seen suicide cases, like the man who asked a girl in their office out on a date, and she said, “I don’t like dull guys.” That remark broke him. He took his life.
I even recall something from when I was in LASU. A lecturer abroad kept disturbing me, and I told my friends, “He looks too dull to be a lecturer.” They told him what I said, and he made my life miserable. But I didn’t break. I went to him and said: “You can’t bully me. I’ll report you.”
I only expressed myself, but maybe my words got to him deeply, and he responded with retaliation.
Through all this, I’ve learned: people must love themselves first, man or woman, plus-size or not. Look at yourself and say: “I’m beautiful. I’m bold. I’m me. I’m enough.”
I call myself “Full Option.” That name became popular. People started referring to me as “Glo, the Full Option babe.”
I said, “Yes.” I’m bold. I’m beautiful. I’m complete. I refused to let anyone body shame me.
Not everyone can absorb what I’ve managed to swallow. Nobody can body shame me.
So please, be mindful of what you say to people. Stop the bullying. Stop the body shaming.
Instead of criticising someone, uplift them. Say, “You look good. You look great.” That simple affirmation might be all they need.
But when someone says hurtful things, like a man telling his wife she looks older than her deceased mother, it’s crushing. Yet, over time, the woman learned to ignore him. She took control. She said: “You can’t bully me or body shame me into suicide.”
We’ve seen people die because of bullying. Because they were pressured into surgery. They didn’t make it.
Your worth was never up for debate. The shape of your body doesn’t measure the strength of your soul, your brilliance, or your kindness.
To anyone who tries to dim your shine, know this: you are not defined by their shallow standards. You were born to stand out, not shrink down. So walk tall, live loud, and let them choke on their judgment while you thrive.
