By Glory Anurika Onyemelam
(08038465069/07053846499/[email protected]/[email protected])
Today, we’re exploring the dynamics of fatherhood in relationships, and whether the notion of the “useless father” holds any weight—using two public figures as case studies: Yul Edochie and his daughter, Daniela, versus Iyabo Ojo and her daughter, Priscilla.
In African society, there are norms we uphold and boundaries we respect. Some actions are considered acceptable, while others challenge our cultural principles.
Take Daniela, Yul’s daughter. From what we’ve seen on social media over the years, Yul has been present in her life—from kindergarten to secondary school, and even celebrating her admission into university. His involvement seemed consistent and visible.
Yet, recently, this same daughter appears to be opposing him publicly. She’s responded to his posts negatively and, reportedly, even blocked him. It begs the question: is it right for children to take sides in conflicts between their parents? Should they get involved in the emotional fallout of marital issues?
While some might say it’s her personal choice, we must also consider the cultural implications.
In Africa, family ties remain significant even in adulthood. Daniela will someday marry, and circumstances may arise where a recommendation from her father or his family could be necessary.
A broken relationship with one’s father, born from conflicts between parents, can create complications later in life.
This brings us to the broader issue: are fathers truly “useless”? Or are they sometimes caught in crossfires that don’t allow their value to be properly acknowledged?
Let’s keep questioning, reflecting, and reshaping our understanding of parental roles, especially in the public eye.
A good example of African marriage traditions is how crucial a father’s blessing can be. There’s no way Daniela could get married without her father’s approval.
Just look at Regina Daniels’ situation; her father suddenly appeared, questioning how his daughter could be getting married without his knowledge. Eventually, her husband had to go back and make peace with him. That’s Africa.
When Daniela gets married tomorrow, this whole drama might impact how easily she settles down. People may question her character, imagine a man introducing her to his family and saying, “This is the woman I want to marry,” only for them to respond, “Isn’t this the girl who insulted her father on social media?”
They’ll ask, “How will she get her father’s blessing?” Some families would insist on reconciliation first before allowing the marriage to proceed.
Mothers need to understand that no matter what they feel about the father, whether they think he’s been absent or useless, this is Africa. There will come a time when his presence and involvement become necessary.
I remember my niece who wanted to marry a man from Imo State. He insisted on meeting her mother’s family. It surprised us—this generation can be full of unexpected twists.
But it shows how some people still strongly uphold African traditions. He even asked to visit her grandmother, so I took him to see my mom. Yeah, our mom is her grandmother.
While many assume some people can be sidelined during marriage preparations, those who value tradition insist everything must be done properly.
No father is useless! Take the case of Iyabo Ojo’s daughter—her father walked her down the aisle.
In a recent interview, Iyabo Ojo shared that despite the differences she had with her daughter’s father, he remained actively involved in their children’s lives. He never allowed their issues to interfere with his role as a father, and Iyabo affirmed that walking their daughter down the aisle was rightfully his.
Interestingly, someone once told me he couldn’t stand Iyabo Ojo, claiming she was wild and disrespectful. But after watching that interview and seeing how she honoured her children’s father, his perception completely changed.
He saw a thoughtful, intelligent woman who prioritised her children’s well-being over past grievances.
In the wedding clip, Iyabo created a space for her daughter’s father, even incorporating a special father-and-daughter dance that reflected grace and emotional maturity. The daughter danced with her father, later joined by her brother, clearly demonstrating the strong bond they share.
Though Iyabo is now in a new relationship, her children still maintain a connection with their father. It’s evident that he has always been present in their lives and that meaningful interactions have continued over time.
This serves as an important reminder: mothers should stop keeping children away from their fathers after estrangement. It’s counterproductive. Eventually, situations arise where the children will need their father, and that moment could rekindle a relationship, even if it had been previously cut off.
I remember a story about five siblings whose father had been quietly funding their education for years. Their mother constantly insisted she was solely responsible for everything and claimed their father had abandoned them. This turned the children against him.
Unbeknownst to them, the man had given his all, never remarrying after separating from their mother and quietly supporting them from a distance. When he fell gravely ill, he asked to see his children. He wasn’t concerned about their resentment; he simply wanted to lay eyes on them one last time.
But none of them came. They were too busy showering their mother with affection—flying her around the world, competing over who would take her abroad next. To them, she was the hero.
One day, someone warned them: if their father died without receiving the honour he deserved, their lives would become terrible. The warning didn’t shake them until one of them was told in her office that tragedy loomed over their family and hardship was near. The spiritual message finally pierced through.
They reunited and visited their father in the hospital. There, he quietly handed them a file. Inside were documents proving the sacrifices he’d made for them over the years—including evidence that he’d bought the very car their mother had used to drive them to school.
They also discovered that the building they had been living in before constructing a new one was purchased by their father to make life comfortable for them.
They were shocked to learn that the building their mother claimed was hers, and planned to sell now that she had a new one, was bought by their dad. They had no idea it was his property.
When they asked their father what happened between him and their mother, he replied that she should be the one to tell them, admitting he was at fault but unwilling to speak about it directly.
Mothers, women—you don’t have to fabricate stories to turn your children against their father. He’s the only father they have. No matter what, that man remains their dad. Whatever happened between you and him should not interfere with the relationship he has with his children.
Let the children decide for themselves if they want their father in their lives. Don’t make him look like the villain while painting yourself as the saint. Both parents have a role to play in their children’s lives—just let the man be.
Despite what happened between Yul and May Edochie, Yul still went to school to see Daniela. But from one interview I listened to, he said Daniela refused to come out and see him. That suggests she’s already on her mother’s side, perhaps due to what she’s been told.
And another thing: in our African culture, we eventually need that father figure. That’s the truth. No father is truly useless. They are all important in their own way.
Yes, some fathers may not support financially or care about how their wife struggles to feed the children, but at the end of the day, they remain the father. That’s just the truth.
As for Yul Edochie’s daughter, one day soon, she will come to understand the importance of a father. She will realise that the man she once insulted holds great significance in her life—and that time is near.
Some say her public display of disrespect is merely a social media gimmick, aimed at gaining followers and likes. I sincerely hope that’s true.
We must never lose sight of our traditions and cultural values. As Africans, we are taught to honour our parents. Let’s not abandon that principle in the name of borrowed culture.
