By Glory Anurika Onyemelam
(08038465069/07053846499/Gloryfrancis430@gmail.com/gforreal28@yahoo.com)
…Power of Forgiveness and the Weight of Ego
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools in any relationship, yet it is often the hardest to practice.
These days, I’ve noticed a shift: men seem to be the ones working harder to hold marriages together.
In the past, it was common to hear a woman say, “Over my dead body will I ever talk to him again!” But today, it is often the men who take the first step, asking, “What’s wrong? Let’s talk about this, let’s resolve it.”
Still, ego remains a major obstacle.
Too many people find it difficult to utter that simple five-letter word: sorry.
We see this play out in real life, even on reality shows like Big Brother Nigeria. I remember one instance where a housemate, Bright Morgan, pushed another, Faith.
Faith demanded an apology, but Morgan flatly refused. Everyone could see he was wrong, but his pride wouldn’t let him admit it. That is ego at work.
Sometimes, it’s even harder to apologise when you don’t know what you did wrong.
You might notice someone is upset with you and think, “What did I even do?”
I had a similar experience with my bestie. Despite being hurt by her, when I heard she was going through a tough time, I still worried about her.
People told me to stay away, but my heart wouldn’t allow it. That’s the thing about forgiveness: it takes a good heart to still care for someone who hurt you.
Unforgiveness is dangerous. It festers. Holding on to anger breeds hatred, and hatred soon turns into jealousy. Before long, conflicts escalate into violence.
We’ve seen people destroy each other, sometimes even to the point of making them mad, simply because they refused to let go of a grudge.
But why is it so hard for us to forgive?
The Bible tells us to forgive those who trespass against us, just as God forgives us. Yet many of us struggle with both sides of forgiveness, saying “I’m sorry” and accepting an apology when it’s given.
The truth is, holding on to hurt only eats you up inside. The longer you wait to resolve an issue, the colder your heart becomes toward that person.
Therefore, confronting problems directly is crucial. If your friend is acting strangely, go to him or her. Talk. Find out what’s wrong. Often, you’ll discover they never meant any harm, and a sincere apology will follow.
There’s another danger in conflicts: inheriting other people’s fights. Too often, people get caught in battles that were never theirs to begin with. When the two original parties reconcile, you’re left alone, fighting a ghost war. My siblings taught me a valuable lesson here. When my friend and I had a problem, they didn’t rush to take sides. They waited, watched, and let things unfold. That patience proved wise.
Of course, some people’s egos are simply too big. They believe that because they’ve helped you or stand “above” you in some way, they don’t owe you an apology. In their eyes, you should be the one begging, even when they’re the ones at fault. But that mindset is destructive.
At the heart of it all, forgiveness is not weakness; it’s strength. It takes courage to let go, humility to apologise, and wisdom to move on.
Relationships, whether friendships, marriages, or family ties, can only survive when forgiveness outweighs ego.
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