My dear man,
I just don’t understand you. You’re completely overlooking the essence of marriage. Do you love this lady enough to spend the rest of your life with her? Does she love and respect you?
If she does crazy things to your heartbeat whenever you hear her voice or footsteps, then she’s probably the one for you.
I read your mail and I fail to see any problem with your family.
I see only you! You’re the serpent in your own paradise.
You don’t seem to be sure you love her enough to want to jettison the issue of age and walk down the aisle with her.
She’s 31 and you’re 29. What is the significance in that age difference? Nothing!
Your mail is filled with holes. It’s like a puzzle, demanding I solve it. Your narration is conflicting.
You said your family loves her. Then in the same breathe, you lied to your family about her age. If they love her, why the heck would they give a crap about her age?
Have you even bothered to share your fears with her? Or are you just stringing her along?
If you love her as you claim, you wouldn’t be bothered about the two-year-age difference.
Love, my guy, is a crazy game! When cupid zeroed in on you, you’re a goner because you’ll never escape his arrow and the pains and pleasure that it comes with. Once you’re in love, you do crazy things and take crazy decisions. Indeed, some people will even say the babe in question used black magic on you.
Love can burn you if you handle it badly. But it’s a burnt you’d give anything to experience.
Take me for instance; I’ve known love. I handled it badly and it flees. Today, I yearn for it.
In this instance sir, I strongly feel that your feeling is what you need to decipher.
If you love her, you’d marry her. But by starting your relationship on a foundation of lies, you’re storing heartache in the barn. The castle in the air will crumble too soon.
I’ve always believed that in marriage, it’s the feelings of the lovers that matters. You’re not marrying your mother or family…you’re marrying a lady/guy. It’s your life. And how it turns out, will always be your call.
Take her today to your parents, look them in the eyes and tell them that she’s 31 and that you don’t care.
Tell them you’re going to marry her no matter what. If as you claimed, they already love her, then I don’t see the problem.
She’s 31 doesn’t mean she can’t ball you the right way, does it?
That she’s 31 doesn’t mean she can’t make a good wife or make you happy.
Life is short, especially once you’re married. If an older woman will make you happy, grab her!
There’re several men who married women who are older than them. A lady or guy’s age has nothing to do with having a successful marriage or relationship.
What is the worst thing that can happen if your family discovers her real age? Ask yourself that question. And tell yourself how you’d handle it.
Most importantly, if you’re not convinced about your love for her…you’re not sure of a tomorrow with her…better let her go.
True, you may break her heart, but soonest, a guy who knows her worth, will waltz into her heart and make her his woman.
I can’t pretend to understand men like you.
Men, who leave life-changing decisions to their parents or siblings.
Such a guy is often tied to their mother’s apron string. They make terrible husbands. They run to mummy always. They lack balls!
Do you belong to that category of men?
I see life/marriage as a stage. Our parents have played out their part on the stage…the curtain has been drawn…the next actor is you.
If you’re kid, your parents will wipe your running nose and clean your bruises, but once you’re a full man…you stop running to mummy and daddy.
This is why we have this paradox: The boy is the father to the man.
Better you make decisions yourself, so that when it succeeds or fails, you blame or praise yourself.
If you make the decision to marry someone, you’ll give the relationship everything you’ve got. After all, it was your choice. You live with it!
If your parents make the decision for you, you’ll forever blame them for every twist and turn in that relationship.
The ball is in your court. You got to take the shot!
